I went to the Post Office to get a new credit card. I stepped in there and met an old friend from College. She told me she was accompanying her boyfriend. This guy was heading to the counter as he had a “good line ticket”…he had “number 32”, while I had “number 141, expected waiting time: 75 minutes”…SIGH! The girl was willing to talk…and she wanted to talk specifically about her boyfriend. I had 75 minutes to kill and the air conditioner was up and running…so, I kept listening: “Antonio, this guy is a weirdo, he’s got a short temper, and I think he’s dumb…but love is blind, yadda yadda yadda”… When I was starting to feel bored, THE SHOW BEGAN:

The guy had paid the bills and was going towards the exit, while waving at his girlfriend. He had to go through the metal detector, so he pushed the button to get the door open. He stepped in there and the exit door wouldn’t open. He yelled at one of the attendants: “Let me out, I am suffocating”!! The woman replied politely: “Please, step back sir and try again”. He tried again and got trapped again. He started to shout: “Is it a joke? You’re making fun of me. You’ll pay for it”! The attendant left her desk and approached him: “But…but…what the heck…you’re trying to exit the office through the entrance?!?!?” “Please, use the other door”. The guy’s face turned red: “What are you talking about?? There’s an “exit” sign on the door. You’re deliberately making fun of me. I’ll sue you. I hope you’re taping this”. Actually, a little kid had written “exit” in the dust with his fingertips…All the people in the office started laughing and the man got mad; he started throwing punches at random people. Security intervened and wrestled him down. While they were taking him away, his WIFE was passing by…she said: “There you are, you’re always embarrassing yourself”!!! My friend will have a chance to find a decent partner, now…

What else? 

Yeah, folks…you’re looking at a Welsh flag…I can't wait to be there!!!

Now Playing: Is It Any Wonder - Keane

Hello, I am here to talk about the Mindmeld Project. nomad and other people involved believe that internet (consisting of bloggers, graphic artists, essayists, writers, doodlers, photobloggers, vbloggers, reporters, celebrities, authors, poets, internet radio show hosts, painters and so much more) has a lot of talented people with thoughtful things to say and show. A lot of what we experience here isn't tangible and yet it means so much to many of us. Mindmeld project wants to turn all that energy and thought into something physical that we can share with each other, and deep down with ourselves (Thanks for lending me your beautiful words, Nomad). You can visit mindmeldproject to read all the details. After reading Nomad's words, I had fun fishing in my own archives, looking for something worth reading. I found a couple of stories that MADE ME SMILE!! I think that if you are a RELATIVELY NEW READER, YOU MIGHT ENJOY CHECKING OUT THIS STUFF....HEHE....

 

Broccoli & Bootie! (Written on December 2, 2004)

 

I don’t know why I always get to witness these weird things! While going to work this morning, I realized I was way too early. I decided to slow down and enjoy my walk, paying attention to smells and sounds. I overheard a conversation between two women (apparent age: mid-50s). One of them said: “It’s gonna be FUN!! Just like the old days in High School”!! Her friend seemed puzzled and said: “Are you sure”?? “Of course I am sure, C’MON”!! So, they slowly approached the young guy who works at the greengrocer’s shop and PINCHED HIS BUTT with energy and surgical precision!! WOW!!! The poor guy blushed and yelled: “Ma’am, it’s the third time in a week”!! I am home now and I am trying to get some rest. The radio keeps playing romantic songs; Eric Clapton’s You look wonderful tonight fills my room and I KNOW I shouldn’t grab the phone…

 

Neighbors! (Written on February 17, 2004)

 

This story deals with fun and reminiscence. The beginning is quite odd: I drove my mother to her favorite hairdresser! This “gifted” guy practices his “art” in the area where I grew up… Flashback: I live in a beautiful three-storey house with a small garden and a backyard – but I lived in an apartment at the 5th floor till I was 19, in Casoria…outskirts of Naples….brief description: it’s like Harlem, Bombay, Bogotá, Kabul, Baghdad and Naples (of course)…all of them combined. - It was simply great: from my balconies & windows I could observe something like 20 families…we knew almost everything about each other. It felt like living within an “enlarged family”. Well, while taking my mother there, I met many of my “relatives” and it brought up so many memories… OOOHHH…in front of our kitchen we had the “craziest family ever”: two men and a woman; the woman was the younger man’s mistress…but she pretended to be his sister….in the meantime, she used to introduce her “actual” husband as her brother…; there was a drug dealer at the second floor; he was an endless source of excitement…one night he set the gatekeeper’s car on fire (it seems that the gatekeeper was giving hints to the police)…..more than 200 families filled pots with water and tried to extinguish the fire from their balconies! What an awkward position…unforgettable!! …There were two gorgeous twin sisters (4th floor…how could I forget about that??); they really could turn boys’ heads!! They’re still hot. I’ve seen them on my way back home and I couldn’t care less about keeping my car on the road. But here is the best episode: we found that the gatekeeper was actually a bad guy…he had stolen something like Euro 15.000 from the public expenses fund. He was collecting garbage in the yard one day, when a 7-year-old kid, leaning from his balcony, yelled: “Toninooooo, I’ve heard mum and dad talking about youuuuuu over lunch! You’ve stolen 15.000 fuc*I*g Euro, you mother*uc*er!!”. You should have heard it in Italian!!!! Right now my family is busy talking about these episodes. I am performing for them….It seems that I am a good actor and my impressions of people are really funny. I can make voices and accents. I think I’ll have to go downstairs in a minute (they’re shouting my name!)… ...we are recalling things and people that are part of our life in a certain way. We have HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY MEMORIES! Well, I like Nomad's idea and I would also like to read the entries that fellow Mindsayers consider "their best stuff"...this is a personal curiosity. Anyway, the Mindmeld Project is cool, isn't it??

Well, I turned 32 yesterday. It was great; I have wonderful friends who make me feel very "popular" and loved. I received many phone calls and messages (By the way, thank you guys!), but the coolest thing is that I had TWO birthday parties thrown in my honor. English was the "official language" of the first party, while the second one was a festa Italiana. The food was great... I also had Peach Schnapps, something completely new to me. After dinner I started to tell my weirdest stories, while drinking iced latte (I censored the part where I was drinking wine!). A new friend was invited to the party, so he had to hear the story of the scar on my left forearm...IT'S A CLASSIC!!
Then, we went to see this movie...

I loved CARS. These "little fellows" are so cute that I'd never stop looking at them. My favotite character is LUIGI, one of the Italian cars...he's really something...

He makes me wanna buy the new 500! It would be a nice gift to myself. Talking of gifts, I received a lot of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy material and memorabilia"!!! It proves ONCE AGAIN that my friends are the coolest!
Other than that, I am spending a lot of time at my laptop as I have to complete a training to teach online classes...so I am TYPING, TYPING, TYPING...
I am also writing something for myself; it's a comedy book: I am a sort of modern Virgil and I work as a tour guide for Plato, Aristotle, Kant, Nietzsche and Voltaire. I am having a lot of fun writing it...hopefully it will be fun to read. I'll probably post the parts I like the most...
Type, type, type...

Now Playing: Killer Cars - Radiohead

I knew we were going to win! Yesterday was a "perfect day" and the French couldn't possibly spoil it. I spent my Sunday celebrating antipodes's birthday. Needless to say, we had great time. We went to a fancy restaurant by the ocean. Let me tell you that sitting by the sea, having seafood, sipping chilled white wine, while talking and joking with people you are very comfortable with, are a key to HAPPINESS!! We also had sorbet and tiramisu' at the coolest place you can think of. We headed home when it was almost "game time". We walked through the streets of my beautiful City, bought Italian flags and chitchatted with very excited people.The atmosphere was indescribable...
I got home and got ready for "drama": the French got an early lead as Zidane scored with a spoon kick. Materazzi equalized. Luca Toni's header hit the crossbar; an Italian goal was disallowed. The French started to play really well... "nail biting time"... Buffon deflected Zidane's header.. MIRACLE!!...EXTRATIME...Zidane LOST HIS MIND.... Penalty shootout....more nail biting. My friends and family started to say that we always lose penalty shootouts (Italy 1990, USA 1994, France 1998....and so on). I said: "That's exactly why we are going to win this time"!! I don't know how to back up my statement, but I WAS DAMN RIGHT...

WE WON!!! WE WON!!!! WE WON THE WORLD CUP!!! Now I want to show you a newspaper that most Italians will keep in a safe place for a very long time:

This World Cup sounds line a very nice gift for my birthday. Yes, my birthday is coming up soon. My friends are arranging a big party for me. Lots of American food... I know I am going to eat something delicious made with peaches....that's all I know...the rest is a secret, a surprise...YAY
July 9, 2006 is a day that I'll never forget....and July 13 is going to be great too. I am so happy...

YEAH!!! Italy-Australia 1-0!!! We made it to the quarterfinals!!! YAY!! Well, we had to struggle. Materazzi (you know I hate the guy) was sent off, but the red card was totally unfair. STRUGGLE, STRUGGLE, STRUGGLE...when the game was going to end...abracadabra...PENALTY KICK...WE SCORED:

YESSSS!! *hugs and kisses* We won!! The penalty kick was an unexpected gift we got from the refreee...the whole world thought that the mafia was involved. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. Only drunknphilosphr's readers are going to know THE TRUTH!!
When I went to Germany, I met Kaiser Franz Beckenbauer... and we made friends...

I bought him a couple of beers and said: "If my team is struggling...please, call the refree and make sure he awards a penalty kick for us"! You should also know I released Franz Beckenbauer after he had spent 20 years in a bottle...but that's another story! I have two wishes left, though!
I don't need wishes these days. I am having great time; I am a translator at the AC Milan Soccer Camp for American kids. I am having a BLAST. I'll have to show you pics. Kids simply love me...I love them back and I love being popular. I am spending days playing soccer and swimming...yeah, swimming...going to the pool is my favorite part of the day. I get to meet GORGEOUS girls. It feels like living in Baywatch episodes. The girls seem to be impressed by the fact I am so popular among the kids...Anyway, being there is AWESOME...and I get paid too. AMAZING. I had a funny conversation with a little girl today: "So, you're a professional translator" - "I am not" - "What do you do?" - "I am a teacher" - "Hahahahhahahaha" - "What?"- "Hahaha...you're not a teacher" - "I am" - "Liar" - "I am" - "You can't be" - "Why not?" - "It's because you're young and FUNNY!" ...AWWWW!!! I am playing with little kids/playing soccer/flirting/swimming/lying in the sun/eating/joking... I'll have to tell Franz Beckenbauer I want more of these days!!!
Italy faces Ukraine in the quarterfinals...and I am going to meet my lovely kids and the gorgeous girls tomorrow morning...DON'T HATE ME!!! Hehe!!